Deep convo questions2/15/2024 I mentioned a few of these in my recent IG post on 5 deep first date questions□□□□□□ Ask about what interests you and what would help you feel closer to someone. Don't get bogged down in trying to be creative of insightful. You'll notice that these questions are all SIMPLE and most importantly, OPEN-ENDED. If, however, you want to get to know someone on a deeper level, try sprinkling in these thoughtful questions and see what happens. Although, sometimes lightness is what you need, and that's alright. Neither is the reverse, when we try to keep things constantly light. Keeping it heavy all the time is not the best way to get to know someone. Careful not to make it sound like an interrogation though! Balance is key here. ![]() "I'm going to keep what you said in confidence, don't worry" 10 Questions To Get You In The Deep EndĪn important part of creating depth in conversations is asking thoughtful, intentional questions. "It's so cool that we can talk openly about this stuff" "I feel closer to you now" or "I feel like I know you better now" "I feel honoured that you shared that with me" How do we reward vulnerability with words? Here are a few examples. When someone shares something that is personal or puts them in a vulnerable position, we can follow this up with words of support, reassurance, and encouragement. This is so important! No one will wade into the deep end with you if they believe you might judge them, or think of less of them. Or perhaps share some memories or worries of the past year. For example, you can talk about your values or the kind of household that you grew up in. Try opening the conversation by talking about something that is important to you. With our current lockdown restrictions in Ontario, things can fizzle out pretty quickly, even if they are looking promising. ![]() Especially if we meet someone on a dating app and really hit it off with them. If we want to get closer to people though, we do have to take some emotional risks. In fact, it can be an overwhelming or even confusing experience when we talk about trauma without establishing trust and safety first! Laying out your deepest traumas is not the pinnacle of vulnerability. And it doesn't necessarily have to be something that is embarrassing or too personal! Always prioritize your safety when sharing information about yourself. When you share something vulnerable, you are helping foster emotional intimacy. We are naturally more likely to be vulnerable and open with people who are vulnerable and open with us! That's right, sometimes you have to share first to get the ball rolling. So how do we move past the small talk and pleasantries and wade into the deep end? Be Willing To Make The First Move And we usually don't run out of things to say about ourselves. When you get deeper, the conversation is less nerve-wracking because the source material is YOU. Conversations at a surface level are actually harder to maintain because the topic inevitably fizzles out. Don't want to get deep? Debate a topic till it's dead. In fact, those types of conversations can be another way to keep things at a surface level. Well, the key is to increase depth, not pretend to be someone you are not! Conversations that are deep do not have to be intellectual or 'high brow'. So you might be wondering, Sarah do you seriously expect me to deal with all that and also worry about being deep and intellectual? □□□ ![]() Often, we are so preoccupied with whether our date or companion likes us, that we pay little attention to whether we even like THEM. We feel vulnerable and self-conscious, unsure of ourselves and eager to make a good impression. Meeting new people, pandemic or not, can be awkward and nerve-wracking. Is Depth Just One More Thing I Have To Think About Now? We suggested that one of the keys to maintaining momentum with online dating (especially during a lockdown) is to create depth in conversations.Įven if you are not dating, we can all relate to feeling starved for connection these days! Since we are not seeing other people and perhaps even calling or texting them less often (raise your hand if you like to cocoon and hibernate for winter □ ) the quality of our interactions matters more than ever. Earlier this week we wrote a piece for our readers who are either online dating during the pandemic, or wondering why dating feels more anxiety-inducing than ever.
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